Irony

Haven't slept in two days because of too much homework. Oddly enough, one of my projects is a sleeping experiment for psychology. =\ Stopped streching my ear, as i can't afford the next size up for a while so I can take the next psych class in the summer semester.
one of my friends has gotten a crush on me and is being SUPER creepy about it and i don't like him 'that way' one bit. Not entirely sure what to do.
Stupidly lonely, tired and mentally drained. Living off coffee and popcorn. Not the best diet, especially with a NEW TONGUE PIERCING.
Yep, it's been a week today (Friday), and it's healed really well so far. =]
Mum's going to be in the hospital for another 2-6 weeks, though.
Is it sad that the tongue piercing is the highlight for the past month.

OH, and my dad got mad at me for missing my bus and getting a friend to drive me home, so he put a hole through my door than threw my binder out my window
... Sidenote, neither of my parents know OR CAN FIND OUT about my tongue. I'm being sneaky. -_-.

Anyways, i just needed a break from copying notes for psyc, but I shall return to the work that awaits. Night all. <3

New fave song/band(s): Giving Up On The Weekend - Vampire Weekend \\\\\ illScarlett

Complete Fail

Kay, I know, I COMPLETELY fail at posting on here TT_TT BUT, yes finally a legit excuse (because that's all it is).
I've actually been SO busy with school and writing for the paper.
Also, I'm helping run a video games club, book club and I'm helping my friend start our writer's club.
Oh, and I'm still working.
And my mum's been (and still is) in the hospital.
So there.
Anyways; I now know what my goal in life is.
I MUST sing with Josh Ramsay when they come to Vancouver again. Marianas Trench is holding a contest to find people to do a duet with him singing "Good To You". I've been saying for a while that I will know I've become a singer when I have the honour to sing with him. No, it's not just because he's beautiful (though I won't deny it). His voice is honestly the most perfect sound I've ever heard. His capability and range is just astounding. Also, his skill when writing lyrics is just breath taking. "Lover Dearest" is my favourite song; Josh Ramsay wrote it when he was 18/19 and in rehab for his heroin addiction. They told him to write a love letter to his drug of choice, hense where the song came from. It is uh-MAZE-ing. <3

My friend Caity made this for me in grade 11, and I'm pretty much positive

she saved my life.

I normally have it on my wall above my bed, but I've been carrying it in my bag lately

just as a reminder.

I kind of adore her <3 caityinthesky on twitter. show her some love.

I'm streching my ear hole(s). My right ear is the only one actually streching though. It's to an 8 ish now. =] It pleases me.
Anyways, that's about it, I think.
OH.
I'm now also on tumblr now, and I've actually been checking my facebook, myspace, twitter, photobucket, youtube, dailybooth and fancorps pages =] I'm so networking-savvy. It blows my mind.
SO.
Don't be afraid to comment\\follow.

Happy bloody New Years

I'm standing at work, helping the insane amount of people who are going to sit at home and watch movies, bowl of popcorn in their lap and sweetheart at their side, just trembling with excitment, because for the first year, I was going to go out to a party and be with my friends on New Years.
My friend shows up and asks me if I'm ready to go, but I tell him,
"I don't know, I still have to let mum know that I won't be home 'til tomorrow afternoon."
Just at this moment in time, she pulls up in our tacky looking red mini van.
He steps outside to talk to her. He's gone for 5 minutes. 10 minutes.
I've gone back to till because more people have shown up.
Paul wanders back into the store, looking like he's trying to make up his mind about something.
"Well, what'd she say, am I good to go?"
"Negative.", and he walks out of the store.
Now, I'm standing at work, still trembling from anger towards my mother. How could she? She must've known I wouldn't be home until the next day!
With my anger hitting its peak as I practically throw people their rentals, I leave to go home.
I get into the sad excuse of a vehicle and ask my mum what exactly she'd SAID to Paul. And she tells me.
"I told him that it was fine as long as you were home by noon tomorrow, so you still have time to do your hair before work. He stood here and nodded at me, went over to Veronika (his girlfriend) and went back into the store."
Naturally after this I have to text him and ask him what the HELL he was going on about. He informs me that I hadn't made up my mind (because I'd said I don't know) and so he had told me no.
Well, with this I'm mad all over again, but now I have a new target. I remind him that I had to talk to mum first, but she'd said yes.
"Too far behind us now, sorry."

Needless to say, this is a great bloody way to bring in the new year.
My resolution? I resolve to get blood on my hands... Paul's blood.

Eep

Kay, so happy christmas! [belated, though it is.]
I MUST brag about my new items =]
Guitar Hero 5 for 360, The Batman Vault [book, alarm clock, penguin pjs and a really pretty neckace from my grandma. My best friend got me a bottle of Bailey's =3 I adore it...I mean him..maybe.

I would have been happy with a handshake, but I'm not going to complain that my family and friends wanted to be kind to me.
I tend to feel bad when people get me things, but I LOVE giving gifts. It's fun to watch their faces when they open something given.
ahhh, warm fuzzies.

Only 15 days til I go to university and I'm teriffied. My friend Claire is having her baby in 11 days and the New Year's in 3. Oh MY.

That's about all I've got for this Monday morning after work.
Have a great holiday and hopefully I'll keep up with the blogging.

xxx

WOOO

So, I'm FINALLY going to university! My first class is on January 12th. I'm on a waiting list to get into two classes and I have a seat in one. I'm on a list for human services [studying how people interact] and english. I'm in Psycology. There is lots of happiness being exuded by myself right about now.
The music class I wanted isn't offered in the winter, so I have to wait for that one to come back, but I don't mind, as long as I get it.

I got a hair cut.

I've started re-reading the Harry Potter series [for the 9th time each...i wish i was exaggerating] and I'm reading The Tommyknockers by Stephen King.

2 days til christmas! Super excited, I love the holiday season... and the fact that my friend gave me my favourite drink for a gift and i've already indulged in it, maybe too much. =]

Pretty sure that's all that's new. Side note, I've also updated my review blog finally. I've decided that my new years resolution is to actually follow through with my promises on here and to try making more youtube videos. Sounds easy enough, right? I wish.

So, because I'm in a great [and slightly drunk] mood, I shall ask a merry question: What's one thing you REALLY want this christmas [or whatever you celebrate] and why do you want it?

Have a happy christmas to everyone!

xxx

ATTN: new blog

Kay; so I've been planning this for a while and with the release of CoD 4.2 and the youtube channel, LikeTotallyAwesome, I had to start my second blog page.
It's a review blog where I go over movies, music and games. I post every monday, wednesday, and friday [hopefully].
If you already read this and you're interested, I think you should go check it out ;)
I'm probably going to post a blog here on weekends.
I adore comments//followers so feel free.

Well, I have to get started on my music blog, but I'll most likely post something here after Criminal Minds tonight, just because I have that little of a life.
<3
Thanks for reading; love you all.
S.*

ATTN: Jerk?

Okay, so I haven't blogged in a while and I know the negative 6 people who read this are furious. I don't actually have a lot to say, I just have this urge to type and complain and rant to no one. I was complaining to my wonderful, beautiful Kyle, feeling bad the whole time, but he left. I'm sure I could have gone on to him for at least another hour. I don't think that's a good thing.

Is it sad that I'm supremely jealous of all the people who get followers and friends on things like this? I like being followed. I like subscribers and comments. It makes me feel like I'm not the unnoticed little person from high school who got stepped on by everyone. Lee, for example is just.. He's got these amazing blogs that he styles and edits and uses good sentence structure. He has followers falling out of his ears, because he's beautiful, on DailyBooth. 17 comments on one picture, on a bad day. I get 4 on a good day. I find myself comparing myself to other people and feeling envious of them for the saddest things. I want to feel noticed, I suppose.

Lost in a sea of faces.

I took an Enlgish Comprehension test to get into a Dental Office Receptionist Certificate Program in University and I needed 48% to get in and I only got 45%. This is disgusting to me, because other than band and choir, English was the only thing I got A's in all the time. Now I have to take an English refresher course, pay $15 bucks, take the CPT again and pray that I'm not just seriously stupid. It was SUCH an easy test too. Circle the one mistake in the sentence [x20]. Write an essay on why University may seem stressful. [I put in 50 extra words, the lady said the cap would be an extra 100.] We were given 3 hours to complete, and just to be sure, I took 2 1/2 hours, 45 minutes to check over everything, and I still FAILED. I'm furious at myself because I couldn't pass this test.

My Mum: Diabetic for +30 years, suffered multiple heart attacks, has a stent in her heart, has four wounds on one foot for more than five months, all of them infected and threatened with amputation, smoked for +40 years [now smoke free a month and a half]
My Dad: Diabetic for +30 years, had quadrupal by-pass surgery, had surgery on both knees [still hasn't healed] 3 years ago, had surgery on both shoulders [still hasn't healed] 2 years ago, smoked +30 years, drank heavily +10 years [smoke free 15 years, drink free 18 years].
My parents: High blood pressure, general health issues, high stress levels at home, overt anger, chronic back problems. They both have to inject themselves with insulin 3 times a day using either a pen [it's just a plastic holder for the insulin that you place a needle on the end of] and a syringe.

For some reason, I still have the nerve to be mad at them because I do dishes, laundry, cleaning, shopping and push my mum around in wheelchairs.

I don't understand why I'm mad at them all the time. I have no right to be, as they have to go through much more than I do on a regular basis, but I just can't take this house anymore. I'm tired of people yelling at me and having to deal with all of these things. I feel ill at the sight of needles and yet my parents use them every day. I dress my mum's wounds, and I clean them and I feel sick with that as well. I don't do well with blood, wounds and cuts at all and she has giant holes on her foot.

I'm trapped. I pay rent, $240 a month to live at home. If I didn't pay rent to live here, I could probably manage to save up enough to take my university courses and move out, make more money and take my main goal course and be happy. Maybe travel. Go out on a Saturday night for once.

I went out with my friends on Wednesday night and we all drank. I came home and was told I'm a disgrace to the family because I drink. I haven't seen my friends since. Come to think of it I haven't even talked to them since that night.

I've never really been my age. I've always been very mature for my age, and my mum actually told me one day that she normally forgets that I'm 19. I was 5 years old and getting on better with adults than with my classmates. I was called the teachers pet until grade ten, because I could have conversations with teachers and parents and feel comfortable. I only act my age once in a blue moon, but when I do I'm told terrible things about myself. I just wish I could get out of here.

'I have a dream...'

I want to be a singer. I'm not very good at singing, but I still want to be one; that's all I've wanted since I was 3. My secondary dream is a writer. I love writing stories about random people I come up with, and they have these sad stories, and some of them make it out better off, others...not so much. Third dream? Special effects make up artist/set designer. n_n I also wouldn't mind being a music therapist. Out there, I know.

I'm going to see Marianas Trench on November 9th. I'm super excited about it. I've recently re-ignited my adoration for The Academy Is... ; William Beckett is a sexy beast [and only 5 years older than me]. He will be mine [yeah right]. <3

I think I might start a second blog, one that I update once a week with music, movie, book and game reviews. Not always new things, but just things that interest me. I'll take requests to read/watch/listen/play things and than give my opinion. I could also do video things for that on youtube, but I don't think so. I'm not very good at making videos as it is. We'll see.

If I EVER get comments on here, someone tell me what you think of my idea! Maybe I'll finally act on it.

As I've said in the past, my blogs are not just for myself; they're for anyone who's like me and feels alone. I read stuff like this and feel better because I know that I'm not the only one who feels these ways.

I adore anyone who reads these. Please, comment/follow/check out my other pages. ;)

Much love. <3
S*